MAJORING IN CREDIT CARD DEBT, part 2 of 4

CONFESSIONS OF A CREDIT-CARD PUSHER

One student's story of how he was recruited to peddle credit cards on campus and the troubles he found for himself.


It all started as a way to make some quick cash. In 2002, at the beginning of his freshman year at the University of Pittsburgh, Ryan Rhoades needed some extra spending money. So when his friend told him about an Internet ad offering Pitt students a way to make some cash in a couple of hours, he didn't hesitate. Rhoades rounded up some of his buddies and headed over to the designated classroom at the student union.

What he saw in that room offers a view of how creative credit-card companies have become in marketing their services to college students.

A SECOND OPINION

This is humor.

After a long silence, the doctor looked up and said, "Woody, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad new is that it will require your castration. You have a very rare anatomical condition. The condition causes your testicles to press on your spine and the resulting pressure creates your continuous headache. I’m afraid the only way to relieve that pressure is to remove your balls."

Woody was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. But he was a realist and so he decided he would sacrifice his masculinity and go under the knife.

After the operation, he noticed a huge difference. For the first time in 20 years, he was pain-free! Yes! Pain-free! As he leapt to his feet, the tenderness between his legs instantly reminded him of the immense sacrifice he made. He had exchanged an important part of himself to become pain-free.

He gingerly made his way out. As he walked down the street, his mood lightened. His pace quickened. He felt reborn! He would make a new beginning and live a new life. He spied a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need to start my new life: a new suit."

He entered the shop and excitedly told the tailor, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly man eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see: size 44 long." Woody was amazed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor replied. Woody tried it on. The suit fit perfectly. As Woody admired himself in the mirror, the tailor asked, "Well, how about a new shirt?" Without hesitation, Woody replied, "Sure!" Again, the tailor eyed Woody and said, "Let's see: sleeves 34 and neck 16." Woody was surprised. “That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor replied again. Once more, Woody tried on the new shirt and it fit perfectly. As Woody examined himself in the mirror, the tailor casually suggested, "Would you like some new underwear too?" Woody thought for a moment and said, "Why not!" The elderly man said, "Let's see: size 36." Woody laughed, "Ah ha! Sorry old man. You’ve made a mistake. I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

Slowly, the tailor shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would push your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." Aray.

A new suit, $400. A new shirt, $36. New underwear, $6.

And a second opinion, priceless!